Application Denied

By C. Clark (edit by ChatGPT)

Introduction

For years I’ve wanted to become a Researcher. I didn’t want to have to do lectures or teach but sitting in a room and exploring new ideas seemed like heaven to me. Although this is something I want to do, I do not have work experience as a researcher. When such job applications crossed my path I felt inadequate, due to that lack of experience, so I would not apply. This time was different. I had most of the requirements and I knew I could handle the new items. I applied for a remote “AI Research Scientist” job, at Autodesk, in the U.S. and Canada. The job involved working with Mathematics, AI/ML, Deep Learning, Graphics, Statistics, Physics, Linguistics, and Computational geometry and geometric methods (e.g. shape analysis, topology, differential geometry, discrete geometry, functional mapping, geometric deep learning, graph neural networks). All of the above are my favorite so I went ahead and submitted my resume/application.

In submitting my application I started to prepare myself, mentally, to actually get the job. I have to admit I was disappointed when I received the rejection email. I felt dejected. It’s been a long time since I have felt that. Wanting something exciting and not receiving it. This time I just sat in it, amused that I was upset, having been through this several times before.

Being able to sit in it, and not be swallowed up by it, allowed me to have this next thought. ‘I do not have to wait until I have a Research job to become a Researcher’. I could take that job application and start exploring all the items that are of interest to me, especially the ‘Computational geometry and geometric methods’. This might have been a fleeting thought before but now it stuck, started to grow in excitement.

Before I enjoy the excitement I want to write on ATS and cognitive dissonance, not together but separately. I have come to dislike ATS, yet at the same time I know that is the way job search is going so I need to adapt. The main thing I dislike about ATS is the fact that these algorithms do not take into account that personal aspect. Years of experience are valuable and one thing that I believe is the most important, is a person’s interest/excitement in the position. You can not grasp either one by focusing on keywords. Plus, I’ve heard some people have just listed all the keywords, whether they have the skill set, and were able to get an interview.

Cognitive dissonance, what does this have to do with job search or becoming a researcher, you may ask. Well, I believe cognitive dissonance is what has kept me from seeing that I could do research on my own, without having to wait for a job. I was feeling that I had to have a job, with the Researcher title, before I could become such. With that acknowledgement I am reminded about my desk, in the hallway, outside of my bedroom. It’s where I taught myself cursive, fraction and did all my storytelling (writing). I didn’t wait for it to be taught in school. I just enjoy learning, it's when I feel my most authentic self is in full force and I love it.

With all of that I am going to thoroughly enjoy researching and who knows, maybe someone will see my research articles and decide to hire me or I may start my own research company. 🍁

Photo by Logan Voss on Unsplash