A Software Engineer Reflects

Reflections

I’ve been exploring a career pivot, and in that search, I’ve learned a lot about myself. What I’ve realized is this: I wasn’t burned out from coding — I was burned out from the environment.

And that distinction matters.

For months, I’ve gone back and forth between pivoting into something entirely new or continuing to pursue another Software Engineering role. My thoughts felt jumbled. But now I can see more clearly. My struggle hasn’t been about wanting a different career — it’s been about wanting a different environment.

At first, I thought remote work would be the solution — or at least a situation I could manage. But even remote roles don’t fully address what I need to change.

Remote work still requires a level of conformity. There are still expectations, structured collaboration, performance metrics, and, in many cases, micromanagement. And micromanagement was a major contributor to my burnout.

It’s funny — this reminds me of a question I often get during interviews and on applications:Do you prefer working in a group or working individually?

I know the “correct” answer is supposed to be working in a group. But if I’m honest, I prefer working individually. I thrive when I can move at my own pace — whether that pace is fast and focused or slow and deeply thoughtful.

A Receipt From My Past

When I was in high school, I attended Rampart High the year it first opened. It wasn’t just a new school — it was experimenting with a new approach to learning.

We went to the gym and signed up for classes ourselves. If a class was full, you had to find another one. It was independent and slightly chaotic, but empowering.

One teacher — a Math teacher — took me under his wing and guided me through the process. I signed up for his Algebra II class.

On the first day, he told us he was going to teach us the way he’d been taught in college. We would move at our own pace. If we had questions, we would come up to his desk and ask.

Outside of Geometry, that became my favorite class of all time. I almost made it to the end of the book. Then, apparently, parents called the school complaining that he “wasn’t teaching.” He had to go back to standing in front of the classroom and instructing in the traditional way.

He also made me start the book over.

I didn’t do as well after that.

Maybe I was bored. Maybe I was frustrated that I couldn’t continue at my own pace. Maybe I’ve just never been someone who thrives in rigid, group-structured environments. Probably a little of all three. But that experience stayed with me.

Going Forward

Now I’m reconsidering my path with clearer eyes.

Maybe I should continue looking for a Software Engineering role — but one that aligns with how I actually work best. Or maybe I should build something of my own. Something where I can work independently. At my own pace. In a way that honors how I think and create.

As I explore, I plan to build a framework for the type of environment where I can truly thrive — even if it’s not the norm.

And I’m turning this exploration into a series.

Because maybe the future of Software Engineering — at least for me — isn’t about leaving the field.

Maybe it’s about redesigning how I exist within it.